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ionion: STEP 1: what irc client should i use for my OS 
AnonZo: but it's not clear where this is going, i'm a doc management guy, docs are living things, never stop writing 
onion: STEP 2: HOW TO CONNECT AND OPERATE 
onion: STEP 3: HOW TO ANONYMIZE 
onion: K?? 
kyber: STEP 4: LULZ 
AnonZo: STEP 5: SALSA 2
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This document is here to hand you the mask, the cloak, and the hat. Whether you choose to storm parliament is up to you.
 
 
The Secret History of How to Get to Fucking Work on Anonymous
  by Anonymous
 
Hello NewBloods. Welcome to IRC, one of Anonymous' communication mediums of choice.
IRC is the oldest used way to chat on a network, even before the internet (LOL). An IRC network has channels where people talk about a topic, so READ the topic! AnonOps, the network that wrote this guide, is currently one of the largest IRC networks for Anonymous.
A channel is indicated by a # (hash sign) . Users on the channel with a @ ,&, % or ~ in their names have elevated privileges, RESPECT THEM. Check the Wikipedia page on it here: 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Relay_Chat
 
IMPORTANT!!!
Communicating via IRC is NOT a crime in any way. Is talking in Japanese on the phone a crime? FUCK NO! If someone says otherwise, smack them with a giant fishbot.
 
 
Step 1.
 
First thing you need to do, is download an IRC client for your operating system. An operating system is, for example, Linux, Windows, or Mac OS X. Web-based clients can be a good starting point; these are websites that let you connect to IRC without having to download anything. An example is Mibbit [http://mibbit.com]. These webclients are NOT recommended for long-term IRC use. They're simply not secure enough, and they're annoying and cumbersome to use. Find the relevant section below for instructions on how to download, install, and connect to the Anonymous IRC Network with each OS. If you have any problems, skip to the 'Failsafe Option' at the bottom. It'll take you straight to a channel of Anons set up to help new users find their way.
 
 
Windows
 
NetTalk : The very very easy way
 
1. Download the client.
2. Install/unpack the client. 
3. Connect. When you start the client you will get a dialog asking for a nickname. Enter the nickname you want to use and click OK. The program will now automatically connect (encrypted) to the IRC network.
4. If you want to quit the IRC client, simply go to File -> Quit. The next time you start it, it will connect again to all channels where you were before.
 
You can now go on to step 2 to learn how to use IRC (you'll have to scroll down).
 
 
XChat : The easy way
This application is free. 
 
Install OpenSSL
 
OpenSSL is required to establish a encrypted connection to the AnonOps IRC Network using XChat. It's free and easy to install.
 
1. Copy and Paste the following link in a browser: 
http://code.google.com/p/openssl-for-windows/
2. Download the x86 or x64 OpenSSL drivers depending on your OS. 
3. Unzip and Install the drivers to the default location (C:\Windows\System32}. This does not require a reboot but you will need to restart any IRC client if it's already open. 
 
Install Client
1. Copy and Paste the following link in a browser to download the X-Chat2 client:
http://www.silverex.org/download/xchat-2.8.6-2.exe
2. Select Next | Accept Licence | Select Next 5 or 6 times | Install | Finish. 
3. Start XChat 2 and a menu will open with several options.
4. Enter a alias of your choice in the Nick Name and Second Choice fields, ignore the rest. 
5. Select Add and enter a name for the Anon IRC network (such as AnonIRC).
6. Select the new network created and Select Edit. 
7. Select the entry under Servers for New Network then Select Edit.
8. Enter the following:  irc.anonops.ru
9. Check the following checkboxs:
10. Select Close and the Select Connect. 
 
You can now go on to step 2 to learn how to use IRC (you'll have to scroll down).
 
 
Mac OS X
 
Colloguy
If you are connecting to IRC for the first time try Colloquy, an easy to use Mac OS X Client.
 
1. Copy and Paste the following link in a browser to download the Colloguy client: http://colloquy.info/
2. Open up Colloquy.
3. Open up the Connections window by going to Window | Connections at the top of your screen.
4. Select 'New' to create a new connection.
5. In the Nickname text box, enter the desired nickname you want to use. Your nickname (or nick) is the name you use to connect, and the name which is shown next to your messages.
6. In the Chat Server box, enter irc.anonops.net (the server that anonymous chatrooms are currently on).
7. Be sure to check "Remember this connection" - this will add it to the Connections window for next time.
8. The rest should be fine, so Select Connect when done.
 
You can now go on to step 2 to learn how to use IRC (you'll have to scroll down).
 
 
Linux
 
This section describes how to connect to Anonops IRC Network via Linux.
 
This how-to assumes you are connecting via Debian/Ubuntu based distributions. 
Note: Fedora/Gentoo/slackware/etc. aren't covered. 
 
XChat
XChat is a free application. 
 
1. First, fire up your favorite terminal [To open a Terminal in Ubuntu go to: Applications | Accessories | Terminal] and type the following:
sudo bash
2. Then enter your password and hit the enter key.
3. Next type:  yes | apt-get install xchat and hit Enter.
4. The download will start and install XChat
5. Once the install is done, type in the terminal xchat and press enter. (You can also run XChat via the GUI menus in Debian/Ubuntu.  Click the Debian/Ubuntu logo and mouse over Internet>XChat.)
6. Once XChat is running, you will need to configure the client so that it can connect to the Anonops IRC network. Upon running XC, you will be greeted with a dialog asking for your user information. Populate the fields with your chosen nick. Do not close the Network List dialog window, as we need this to input server information! 
 
Configuring XChat to connect to the AnonOps network:
Click the Add button next to “Networks.” To the left of the button, some text will be highlighted that says “New Network”, edit this text to say whatever you like. Ideally, you should label it Anonops, so that you can easily find the server that you are trying to connect to!
 
Now click the Edit button, and a window will pop up that reads “Server for Anonops”, click Edit to the right of this and then type in the following irc.anonops.in
If you wish, you can check “Auto connect to this network at startup” and you will be automagically connected to anonops IRC upon starting xchat. This step is optional, but may be useful.
 
Now click the Close button and you will be brought back to the Network List dialog window.  Under Networks, click on whatever you named the network originally (for many of you, it will be anonops) and then click the Connect button in the bottom right.
At this point, the client should try to (and successfully) connect to the network.  If you encounter an error, make sure that you spelled the server host irc.anonops.in correctly.
 
If you really cannot connect to irc.anonops.in, you can also use irc.anonops.ru. If that fails as well, try connecting to 206.253.172.162 or 77.91.227.233
 
Failsafe Option
If everything else above fails you can connect to the Anonymous IRC Network via an IRC Web Portal. We don't recommend it as this is an unsecure method but if all else fails you can contact other Anons to get help.
 
IRC Web Portals
https://02.chat.mibbit.com/?server=webirc.anonops.in&channel=%23opnewblood
Click the link, hit 'Go'. If you want to get REALLY advanced, type your nick in too.
 
 
 
 
Step 2.
 
Now onto actually using IRC.
 
Note: A lot of this stuff is just extra info. You don't need to know it. WE don't need to know it. We just love typing out this crap. Just reading the commands will probably suffice for you.
 
Note: To use the following commands, replace words inside "< >" with your own choices and delete the "< >" themselves. Example:
/nick
would become
/nick Newbie
 
1. First up, you'll want your own nick.
Nicknames, commonly referred to as 'nicks', are how people will see you. Yours will appear before all of your messages in IRC, letting everybody know who is talking. You can select almost any nickname you like, provided nobody else uses it.
 
To change your nick use:
/nick
Example:
/nick Newbie
 
2. Now you should register your nick. 
Registering is basically creating an account on the AnonOps network; your nickname will then belong only to you, and nobody else will be able to use it. There are other benefits, of course, including the ability to be recognised and given admin abilities on channels.
 
To register your current nick, use:
/msg nickserv register
Example:
/msg nickserv register ThisI5MyPassw0rd._ThereAreM4nyLikeItButThisOn3IsMine fake@email.com
 
You'll have to log in to your nick every time you connect now. But that's okay, because it means nobody else can use it.
Note: if you are using NetTalk, you can set your password in NetTalk itself by going to the Server tab, right-clicking AnonOps, and clicking Properties. Click Next, enter your password, and click Next until you are done. Nettalk will now automatically log you in every time you connect, you do not need to identify yourself.
 
3. To log in [aka "identify"] manually , use:
/msg nickserv identify
Example:
/msg nickserv identify ThisI5MyPassw0rd._ThereAreM4nyLikeItButThisOn3IsMine
 
4. After registering, you'll want to find channels to use.
#opnewblood is good for orientation; it's the default help channel for new users. Ask any questions you have there and you'll get answers, or at least pointed in the right direction. Alternatively, you can also find other channels using a list command.
 
To find a channel with a keyword in it, use:
/list <*keyword*>
Example:
/list *newblood*
This will display a list of channels with names containing the keyword you use, such as #opnewblood. Alternatively, you can just type:
/list
This will return a list of all public channels currently on the network. There are too many to display here, and more are being created all the time.
 
5.Found channels? Good. Now you have to join them.
As said before, if you were listening, channels are basically chatrooms. Each is focused around one topic or subject, from specific ops to general information to helping with a particular issue.
 
To join a channel, use:
/join <#channel>
Example:
/join #opnewblood
 
That's pretty much it. There's plenty more, but it's mostly unimportant stuff and you have far more important things to do. You probably skipped all the extra info anyway.
 
 
 
Step 3.
 
HOW TO ANONYMIZE
 
Configure IRC to use Vhost
Vhosts [meaning 'virtual hosts'] are masks that hide certain personal information, namely, your ISP. When a user joins a channel, most others present will see something like this:
 
Opnewblood119 [Opnewblood@ty-F6F6B323.dhcp.embarqhsd.net] has joined #opnewblood
 
The part in the square brackets contains way too much information relating to your physical location and internet connection to be really comfortable. A vhost obscures this, replacing it with text of your choice.
 
Configure a vhost
To get a vhost, you will need to join the channel #vhost
After doing so, type this into the channel itself:
!vhost your@vhost.here
Examples:
!vhost newbies@love.this.guide
!vhost you@can.use.many.different.words.separated.by.dots
!vhost or@one
If everything goes correctly, and let's face it, with such an amazing guide, how could it not,  you should be kicked out of the channel immediately after sending the above message. You can request a new vhost at most every 6 hours.
 
Now, when joining or leaving a channel, a person with the first example vhost should appear like this:
Opnewblood119 [newbies@love.this.guide] has joined #opnewblood
 
 
Step 4.
 
Video tutorial after you've done all this for finishing touches, aka icing on the cake, or your face:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRL66uCSJuI&hd=1 
 
Extras
To mark yourself as away from keyboard, use:
/away
Example:
/away Gone to eat.
To unmark as away, use one of the following [if it doesn't work, use the other one; it depends on which client you're using]:
/away
/back
 
To quit and disconnect from the server, use:
/quit
Example:
/quit Feds found me.
 
To display an action, such as slapping somebody, use:
/me
Example:
/me slaps onion around with a giant fishbot
This will be displayed as:
 * Newbie slaps onion around with a giant fishbot
 
To print every nick on the channel you are in use:
/names 
Note that this might not work in every client.
 
General Advice
DO NOT USE ALL CAPS LIKE I AM DOING NOW. PEOPLE GET IRRITATED
Hell, I'm irritated just reading that.
 
The user called muninn is a bot that connects Anonops's irc network to the related network on I2P, a network built especially for privacy. If you want to know more about I2P, you can ask people in #opnewblood about it.
 
Don't join #kill. If you absolutely MUST know what happens if you do, don't cry about it afterwards.
 
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Welcome
You are now Anonymous, but you were already. 
 
We are legion.
 
Do not forgive.
 
Do not forget.
 
We were expecting you.